I avoided this for SIX months, because I didn't want to do anything so FINAL. I was worried about how this would affect my body for having another baby, or the side effects such as gaining weight, loosing some hair. Some may think its so trivial to think that way but I did, so I have put up with feeling anxious, a small tremor, hot flashes, major FATIGUE, muscle soreness(so much so that with high blood sugar and the Grave's; if I was sitting on the floor and wanted to get up, it would take extreme energy to get up), and mood swings(diabetes affects moods too).
I let fear control my decision to not do it. FEAR is not of God. I looked into other treatments but it seemed no doors were opened to make it easy for me to pursue them. So I went on this way, praying for God to give me a CLEAR answer.
A pastor once told me, God answers prayers in 3 ways, Yes, NO, and wait. I believe this is true. I prayed for healing, just wanting God to take it away, hurry and just take it all away.. I kept thinking, Please, just take one away then, if you wont take both. God is not the creator of SICKNESS, Satan is. God is good, loving, and sent his son who knew NO sin to be sin so we,I could be in relationship with him, know his love. Just as I would NEVER want my kids sick, HE doesn't want me His child that way either. I am learning, what the word says, 1 Peter 2:24, Matthew 8:16-17, Psalm 107:20, Isaiah 53:5 . AND no God didn't do this so I could learn something from it, or to bring glory to him because of it, those are lies, these are the truths I am learning, from hearing his word, and my faith is being exercised.
So Friday, 4-9-10 I went in, a little nervous, but mostly at peace-alllll the prayers said for me, lifted me up, and I was joyous. There was a point were I might have cried, but I stopped. Prayed, asked Jesus to be with me, and instantly I my watery eyes cleared up. I KNEW I was being held. It's hard doing something you don't know what will happen, but I did Trusting in God.
As I sat in the chair, the tech went over all the precautions with me and I looked up and on the door I saw the sign on the door where my special pill was being protected.
I've decided that it doesn't matter that I had to do this. God created doctors, and sometimes its necessary to use them. I am relying on my God. These scriptures help me feel even better about my decision:
After the paperwork was recited again for me, she opened the door and went in, as I watched with intensity, GIRL, I was like na-uh, I am fixin to watch her since I am the one doing this... she opened a black bag, and took a metal vial out, where she opened that one and took out a plastic vial. She opened it and dropped it in a thing* to weigh the pill, put it back in the little plastic vial and handed it to me with tongs. HA! I had a big cup of water, opened the little tube threw in my mouth, and swallowed it! I did IT!
So I have been staying at my B and T house, and when I arrived here, I went out back and sat and took in the beautiful view.
I am blessed. Taking in the quietness of the country, and listening to the clicking of my blackberry clicking away texting everyone how great I was feeling! GOD ROCKS! He surely does. I have an awesome family, and great friends. I HAVE HAD nooo side effects. What a blessing! I have defiantly missed my little buzzards(aka my children), and hubby. He has been taking care of them since Friday, and will until Monday night. I have been filling my time with praying, reading, John Bevere's, A Blazing Heart, watching TV, sleeping (yeah!), and eating(my favorite pastime). OH and drinking. WATER!
They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the LORD to care for them. Psalms 112:7 NLT
Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice. Isaiah 41:10 amplified
God has the final say on all of this, even though I took a medical route, I know Jesus is doing a new thing in my life,and I am excited! I did my part, and I know he will do what I cannot.