The first night was so awful, I thought I would pull all my hair out as her blood curdling screams were so loud and lasted about an hour and a half. I mean to tell you, wow that was tough. Sometimes when I get nervous and do not know how to handle the situation when my kids are beyond reaching through a tantrum, I laugh a nervous laugh. I did that. Sounds a little coo-coo to tell you the truth. But we didn't give in, and finally she fell asleep. Three years of co-sleeping will take a little while to break we reminded ourselves as we started this adventure.
We continue to be consistent with our efforts as her parents to train her to sleep in her own place she calls her "princess castle." Every night we do the bedtime routine, tucking her in, praying, giving kisses, and saying goodnight. As soon as my husband and I walk out she begins to cry. Matter O fact, she wails loudly. Little Gwynni has improved somewhat over the last few weeks but it is still very much in the correction, discipline phase. She has tried different ways to get out of sleeping in her bed over the last 3.5 weeks. She has tried hiding before bedtime in our bed, to screaming loudly, to kicking walls, to falling asleep and waking up in the middle of the night and climbing in our bed. All her efforts or cute excuses, "My leg hurts, thats why I want to sleep with you," to get what she thinks is best. Her big baby blues, make it hard for me to not just let her cuddle up to us and keep things just as they were. But momma knows better. She in her immaturity doesn't understand this is for her good. *and for our sanity as well*
The Holy Spirit has ministered to me through this experience with my daughter. In my own journey with my Jesus, I am in a disciplining phase. How often do we like when we are being corrected? Um, I never like it. How often do we come up with excuses to get what we think is best? In Hebrews 12:10-11 in amplified version,
"For [our earthly fathers] discipline us for only a short time and chastised us seemed proper and good to them; but HE disciplines us for our certain good, that we may become sharers in His holiness. 11) For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness--in conformity to God's will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God].
These passages relate to what we are doing with our daughter in the natural, as well as what God is doing in the spiritual with me. I should not resist the correction my Heavenly father is giving me, for it is the Refining he is trying to do. All I see is how I feel, furthermore, how much I do not like being uncomfortable or not understanding what's going on. It is not my place to stay in a place of questioning but staying in Faith about the what is going on. As it says in,
Deuteronomy 29:29"The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.
Change always requires uncomfortable moments but in change there is growth. Instead of reacting in the natural which so often is easier to do, the Holy Spirit has urged me to react in the supernatural, by consistent prayer, and reading his word. Growth in Christ is mirrored by the display of one's faith through painful trials. My heart's desire is to be Christlike and to be cleansed of all that is not of him especially in trials. So that translates to when I want to react out of the way I "feel" I don't, I pray about it. That's not always easy but I believe that's when change is taking place. When I move past the emotional part of the situation, I am better able to listen to what the Lord is ministering in my life.
Just as we reassure our little miss Nie-Nie that we still love her through our efforts to train her, Our Lord God reassures us that through his discipline his love for us remains strong. Revelation 3:19 (The Message) "The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they'll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!
As we continue to be diligent in our efforts to train our daughter, I am thankful for my Father's discipline and correction in my life. We stick with it knowing the fruit of this harvest will be prosperous!
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