Well, it's been a one of "those" weeks. You know, one of those weeks where things seem to be going wrong all at once. However, even in the midst of the challenges, there has been triumph, growth, and release. Today I share how triumph overcame the difficult weeks in personal struggle of mine.
The last several weeks, I have been going to the gym working out and "gettin' my Zumba on." It really feels great to sweat! Over the last year we have been on the journey to change our lifestyle to a healthier one. We started a small garden, eating more organic, trips to farmer's market, working out([me I mean] my hubby has been active in working out since he was in pampers 5-6days a week), testing more(the blood sugar to keep numbers in check-tough but somebody[me] has to do it) and now chickens! It's so much fun and at times challenging. I need to remind myself that just because I want a huge garden right now, and to know how to plan meals better, all the rest of it; that it takes time. Slow yo roll Nay-Nay! It will be 2 years in October that I have been dealing with T1 Diabetes. Since January I have been making better progess in taking care of the health issues I face. Its not a quick fix, But I am excited to say things are really coming together in this area for myself particularly.
Something has changed in me. Recently refacing an old struggle, I kept thinking back to January when I decided to change some personal things and made up my mind to never quit Philippians 3:13-14. Sure there's times where you fail or fall on your face; but you get back up and keep after what it is you really want. The fact that I say I want another baby, but don't manage the Diabetes properly, or the fact that...I struggled for some years up until recently with smoking cigarettes. Yes, I have smoked on and off for years, never while I was pregnant or nursing but somehow would always pick it back up. Most of my closest friends and family knew but I kept it hidden from everyone else. With the diagnosis of Grave's Disease and T1 Diabetes (2009) surely didn't aid in the area of quitting the nasty habit either. I carried a lot of shame for doing it, (Let me just say I do not judge anyone who may smoke, both of my parents smoke. It is a personal thing I knew I needed to stop for many reasons) and hiding it. As I prayed for God to show me what the smoking was really about, he showed me, it was a HUGE hindrance in my life. A stronghold where I wasn't giving the best of me to my God, myself, and the ones I love. The fear of judgement weighed heavily on me, so I kept it to myself, and even after giving it up I didn't wholeheartedly abandon it. I couldn't confess it. I had this image of a strong Christian woman and in that wasn't one that smokes, and I used that against myself.
Addiction comes in many different forms we all know that. The key is digging deep to address the root of what the addiction is masking. If someone wants to change, You do whatever it takes to get that change. It is my Faith in God through Jesus that makes it easier because my way always seems harder.
This week I started reading Lioness Arising: Wake Up and Change Your World by Lisa Bevere. What an encouragement it has been so far. She boldly challenges us as women to rise up awaken the lioness inside, the fierce, the boldness, power, we have for the Kingdom of God, break through oppression and embrace the strength God has graced us with to make a difference in our lives and the lives around us. Lisa Bevere encourages women to come together in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up, encouraging each other; empowering each other to change the world around us. Reading this, confirmed now is the time to I am encouraged to step out of my fear, and say hey, THIS (whatever struggle-smoking for me) does not have power over me. I was released from carrying the fear of judgement from this struggle awhile ago, so now it's time to embrace the journey and VICTORY I have over this hindrance because I am on the other side of it. Even though, I have dabbled with straggle cigs here and there, I was released a long time ago but didn't receive the victory.
There's strength and power gained in sharing my experience. I took a big step forward in my journey and there is somewhat of accountability in this purge. I am not perfect but I am a daughter of the Creator, and I am a work in progress as every other Jesus Seeker! We all have things that we fall short in, carry the burden of shame or guilt about, things we need to give to God. I thank God he is constantly refining me through my desire to seek him. The purpose of this is to say, it doesn't matter what the issue anyone faces a battle against, when you realize who's child you are, Seek the Kingdom above all else, realize the God given strength equipped within through his son, there is nothing but victory in anyone's path to overcome anything including addiction in whatever form that may be. This wasn't something I had to write because I needed to confess, it defiantly was cathartic and apart of the release in the entire issue. I have Grace from my God and his love to get through whatever. God is good. I do not feel shame is sharing this struggle anymore. God's Word says in
1There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.[a] 2For the law of the Spirit of life has set you[b] free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,[c] he condemned sin in the flesh, 4in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
And I say Amen to that!