My baby bump at almost 13 weeks( yay for bathroom pix! haha!).
It's been a little over a few weeks having an insulin pump. It's been a challenging few weeks emotionally. Up to this point before getting pregnant managing the Type 1 Diabetes has been something I have done at a minimum. Our baby changes everything. I have been diligent in my efforts to manage the Diabetes as best I can.
Seems life lately revolves around food. It's been tiring. The pump does make things somewhat easier in the way that I am not giving myself shots throughout the day. I change the pod every 3 days. In that time I enter the information about how many servings of carbs I am eating, my current blood glucose, and the device calculates the right amt of insulin to give me to cover my food and keep the sugar within the expected range. So the pump has eliminated daily stomach punctures/bruises and when I am out to eat I only pull out the "motherboard"(aka remote to tell pump what to administer) and save time in that way.
Everyday I wake up around 3am and check my glucose, then again when I am up at 630am, again before breakfast, 2 hours after breakfast, before snack, before lunch, 2 hours after lunch, at snack, before dinner, 2 hours after dinner, then at bedtime. Also I often check in between due to occasional blood glucose lows. My fingertips are as my friend said "minced" and kinda sore from all the pokes.
Following a designed diet plan is tough for me. I like to eat when and what I want. Having to eat even when I don't want to annoys me. Like a horse, (not going to say cow, I prefer comparing myself to a strong, beautiful stallion) I like to graze. Dealing with the Diabetes, I can't do that. What's been the challenge is testing frequently, log numbers, log what I eat, talk with educators on a daily basis, call in numbers at the end of the day, remembering to take my prenatal, and try to just have grace for myself. The Diabetes is a full time job. I can't pin point just one thing that had me feeling overwhelmed, it has been a combo of hormones surging, and all the other changes to my life. The more I follow Doctor's orders, stay on top of carb counting the glucose is definitely more in control, and I feel like I am doing a good job.
This is hard. I don't want for sympathy or pity. I know I am on a journey of discovery and revelation. I have definitely had moments where I have cried the pent up emotion, but I also dig my spurs(I am an aspiring Farmer who will have spurs one day) into the belly of trial and scream, "I am a conqueror and I will overcome" and I ride on! I don't accept Diabetes. I stand firm on my God who is the Healer.
A benefit to seeing a specialist and categorized as "high risk", my baby is closely monitored and I get sneak peeks of my womb mate. I have told close friends, seeing our baby really helps me get back to the center of all this "work". Everything for my gift, my bebe, the child we prayed for.
Week 12Tic Tac size feet!
Soon I will be entering my second trimester. Time has gone by fairly quick. We say we want to wait to find out the gender, I just hope we don't figure it out with all the sneak peeks! I am happy to be pregnant and actually enjoy it very much!
Each day I am reminded to just embrace the day at hand. Diabetes is not going to rule me, I rule it--- cuz I am "Winning." Furthermore, I choose to stay joyful over wading in the water of despair. I am in a much better place than a few weeks ago, thankful to prayer and receiving God given peace and strength.
I am thankful for God's provision, his word that changes me, his strength that sustains me, and His love abounding through my Jesus!